And I love it.
I love my new age. My new “credentials”. I slipped over the hill and I just breathed a big sigh of relief…
I made it. And I have fully embraced my new identity. It feels great. Continue reading
Since I no longer have time to blog very frequently (yep, it happened, but it’s not dead yet!), it’s kind of amusing to see the large shifts in topic and mood between my posts now.
The last blog I wrote was about my long and violent saga exterminating rat(s) in our basement (attic?). Since then, I just haven’t felt moved enough to start typing again. I mean, what in my life these days can compete with the drama of outsmarting vermin on my own turf?
Because earlier this week it was my seven year wedding anniversary. Our seven year wedding anniversary:
Yes, my darling – I feel at least as passionately about you as I feel about RATS.
Anyone who’s been around me for a hot second lately knows that I’m more in love with my husband than ever. Bordering on co-dependent (I admit it). This “childfree” decision thing seems to have mind-melded us; cemented us even closer than I thought possible…
While it’s true that some of my passion for past loves (like writing) has waned, I’ve leaned harder into my marriage. And I’m not sorry about that at all.
And interestingly enough, also this week I met an inspiring woman in person whom I’ve been corresponding with for a while now; I’ve begun to look up to her and the work she does and have even started to reimagine my own future as a result. She suggested I take a “thinking talents” assessment to hone in on where my natural abilities and passions lie. So I did:
Enchanted by how spot on this felt, I asked my dear husband to do the same…
And I just had to smile at what a perfect yin and yang emerged in these two skillsets; so much harmony, but also so much difference. A beautiful balance.
Our love definitely lies in things like our humor and our ability to feel deeply for others. But we are so different as well, in how we drive each other forward (me for Trent) and buoy each other up (Trent for me) when we’ve taken too much on and need to be reminded of the here and now. I see so clearly how my analytical mind supports Trent’s enlessly innovative mind (the source of his creativity, I suppose).
The science of love. 1 + 1 = 7 years.
Plus 50 more = lovers at 90!
It pains me to record this story, but…
We had a rat at 3675.
Being the clean freak that I am, “rats” aren’t something I ever imagined I’d personally ever encounter, in MY home. Even as it sits on the precipice of its centennial birthday, with its dirt-floor crawlspace and steamy attic, right in the middle of the crowded Bay Area, overrun with urban wildlife feasting on the local and sustainable bounty of year-round backyard gardens…
My home is (or was, in my mind) an air-tight rodent fortress.
I’m only mildly comforted, still, by the fact that rats can be found in one-third of all homes in America. Like, barely comforted. 3675 had to be a 2 or a 3 – so clean you can eat off the floor in every room, inspected top to bottom inside and out on the first each month for signs of so much as a hairline crack…
But alas, I saw the rat. It ran RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE – I kid you not, I felt a breeze – while I examined what I thought had to be a harmless little mouse dropping in the basement behind the washing machine.
Mice, by the way, are NOT THE SAME AS RATS. Mice are tiny – cute, even. I’ve encountered plenty of mice before: in my office while working late, in our woodpile at our mountain home…
Rats: they are not cute. Continue reading
In less than three months from now, I’m going to Sicily to celebrate my 40th birthday.
It’s a little wild – not just that I’m actually turning 40 – but how the idea for this trip finally came together. I’d gone back and forth and back and forth about what I wanted to do to celebrate my big OVER THE HILL: throw a huge party for everyone I’ve ever met, be alone with my husband, take a road trip with just a couple friends, do nothing…
And finally I settled on Sicily. Continue reading
As I’ve arrived in middle age, I’ve come to the realization that I’m no longer much of a public speaker.
Maybe it’s because I’m in the spotlight so much in my professional life, I just don’t want to feel that way in my personal life. I just want to relax, be myself, “turn off” – and not have to perform.
Unfortunately, middle age also seems to be the time of a familial changing of the guard; a time when life seems to be thrusting me into a “performance role” more than ever. As “big life things” happen, I feel expectant eyes on me, but that old performer within – a younger, much different woman – just doesn’t want to step into the spotlight. Continue reading