Ha ha. IT DOES SUCK!
So yesterday, all at once, near midday, I got hit by a triple-assault…
- My best friend (and bridesmaid in my wedding), Kim, IM’d me through gchat and… She was posting on Facebook about going to the Tigers opening day tomorrow and… She realized it was stupid because… (Kim Dabbs is typing)…
- My other best friend (and other bridesmaid in my wedding), Anna, sent me an email with a subject line that just read “FYI”…
- Trent IM’d me through iChat that he had to “show me something”…
AND LITERALLY, a few seconds later and a couple clicks of the mouse between all these messages, and — BAM!
- Kim announced that she had started a Facebook group to “Bring Lisa Temple Back to Facebook”
- Anna, as if in telepathic coordination with Kim, wholeheartedly announced her support of said group in her email
- Trent sent me a screenshot of the group
I’d like to say, “let’s set aside the futility of creating a group on a tool which I’ve actively removed from my life.” But really, that’s not fair. I have to give them some credit — it’s not that futile if I’m going to be IM’d about it, emailed about it, and sent screenshots of it. I’ve seen it — as much as I can see it. It’s cuuute. In fact, that screenshot up there isn’t the one Trent sent me yesterday — I had to ask for it again today because I deleted yesterday’s. But I copied down some of the posts yesterday, which are hilarious:
“I miss my friend on Facebook. This campaign is to get her to reconsider. Too bad she won’t see it since she ISN’T ON FACEBOOK!!!”
Aw. See? No worries. I saw it, Kimmy.
“Let’s post tons of cute pictures of our kiddos, then email her and tell her they are only on Facebook!”
I admit — this is a good idea. There is a percentage likelihood of it working. I’m not going to say how high. Go ahead and get started and we’ll see…
“Ed…let’s get pics of Ollie and Bowie together and post them here. We can dress them in wedding outfits together.”
This is an even better idea. See:
I came up with this marriage idea. My face is going to explode from smiling so big right now. Eeeeee!!!
“Although I’ve been told, by the woman who’s left such a deep electronic void that a group was created to voice their concern over her absence, that I should continue to be a member of this group, which I didn’t join. I’m not. I have very much been enjoying Lisa(minus)Facebook, and I’ve found my level of Facebook engagement has dropped dramatically since her exit. Also good.
It’s a bad writer who uses a junkie-quitting-the-habit analogy in reference to Lisa’s electro-exit BUT she’s not twitching anymore when her phone runs out of batteries on long trips. Also, I never said I was a good writer.
She loves writing her new blog!
p.s. Kim, NO I DON’T HAVE TO SHARE MY WIFE WITH ANYONE! That’s why I married her!”
Now THIS is the best idea of them all (but man, that’s a wretched run-on sentence in the first paragraph there, T — no further comment on your writing skills). Trent is RIGHT — he has gotten a much better version of me already this week since I’ve been Facebook-free. I’ve actually been noticeably more productive, at home and at work. I don’t miss Facebook at all. I love not being on it. And it’s true — I haven’t cared nearly as much about keeping my phone charged up. We’re road tripping to Fresno this weekend and it’s already going to be a much better car ride because I won’t be glued to my phone the whole time. And I DO love writing this blog, and I feel fairly confident that you all haven’t forgotten me……….
Trent’s not dumb — he knows Lisa(minus)Facebook is a better deal for him.
He did not join the group. I told Kim he wasn’t going to, and Kim told ME to tell HIM that he had to share me. That’s where that last line comes from. She is obviously not amused.
I am, though. It’s very, very nice to be loved by your friends and family. Especially when they’re such awesome people. And this trio of Kim + Anna + Trent: they’re pretty much unbeatable when it comes to awesome.
I guess I’m just going to have to keep reminding them that I DO still exist. But of course, never say never. As Anna pointed out —
“Oh I know it is a long shot. Although you did once say you would never get a cell phone, move in with a boyfriend or get married. Just saying you have been known to change your incredibly stubborn mind in the past.”
You got me. My wedding vows were composed on that very topic.
However, for now, I am holding firm. Because so far, life like this is better. And if anyone else is worried about the following —
“All of your comments and posts are gone and that really sucks. It is as if you never existed!”
I’m just going to keep repeating —
“But I DO exist, Anna.
I DO EXIST.”
(just replace “Anna” with your name)
And now watch this to see where that line comes from. Proceed to die laughing (good stuff starts at 1:32).