After recently having so many good days in nature, I’m now having some bad ones.
First, two of my three prized tomato plants decided to take a turn for the worse.
Then my cucumber vine decided to put all its efforts into a single cuke, leaving the other eight on the vine in a state of perpetual cuke infancy.
Then a nice coating of powdery mildew showed up on the youngest of my rose bushes – the dainty little one I’d been laboring over patiently for months, waiting for its first blooms. And now I’ve chopped those blooms off prematurely and sprayed the naked stem left behind with fungicide. AND IT MOCKS ME.
But really, I’m most pissed off at this:
F#@%ing CODLING MOTHS in my apples. And probably soon, my pears.
I just keep Googling “codling moth,” I think because I want to look my new enemy in the eye:
Wait – it doesn’t actually have “eyes.”
And apparently, it’s STILL NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO DEFEAT.
Codling moth larvae are basically “apple worms.” Like, exactly what you reeeaaalllyyy don’t want to be thinking about when you pick fruit off your own tree. They are everywhere, they have been since the beginning of time, they will find your apple tree soon enough and bore into your fruit faster than you’d think something with no legs and no eyes can move, but OH! don’t worry there’s an organic method to control them, but wait that method actually doesn’t work that well so maybe you should just spray some chemicals, but actually don’t bother because it’s nearly impossible to know when to spray the chemicals because you have to spray at the right time, and there are actually at least three times you’d have to get precisely right in order to have any chance of killing the ACTUAL larvae, but OH WAIT!!! there’s these really cool new things called pheremone traps that you hang in the tree, and the adult moths fly into them because they SMELL LIKE A SEXUAL ENCOUNTER, but once inside they get confused and the moths actually DON’T have a sexual encounter, instead they LEAVE WITH A DEADLY VIRUS, which they then pass on to their larvae when they DO have a sexual encounter (yes, this is for real), and that plan sounds BADASS except wait! it actually doesn’t work that well either because the virus only gets passed on to about 5% of the local codling moth population, OF WHICH THERE ARE APPROXIMATELY ONE BILLION.
And at least 50% of them are trying to get into MY apples. And MY pears.
So, since apparently no master gardener or orchard person or whatever has ever found a way to defeat this stupid f#@%ing moth and it’s slimy little larvae, I’ve decided to go for the only solution that seems logical. En masse.
Let’s see what they like better. The apple, or the LIGHT.