It’s day one of OPERATION: NEW PATIO (the next phase of OPERATION: NEW BACKYARD)!
I’ve never been so happy in my whole life to come home to a giant f#@%ing mess as I was today. Why? Because our double-decker flagstone patio was the worst. THE WORST, I tell you, flagstone patio in existence.
This is not hyperbole. This is a fact. We’re not sure if the stones ever had mortar or anything in between them or what, but by the time we moved into 3675, all we do know is…
- Everything was uneven.
- Many stones had cracked, or would crack if you sneezed on them.
- Nothing was joining the stones together except dirt, which was swept away during dry weather and turned to mud during wet weather and OH – weeds loved this. They. just. loved. it.
- The stone stairs down to the main lawn – obviously the most highly trafficked – were all dangerously loose to the point that we had to limit our beer consumption in the backyard. AND WHAT GOOD IS YOUR OWN 6,000 SQUARE FOOT YARD IF YOU HAVE TO LIMIT YOUR BEER CONSUMPTION BECAUSE OF FALL HAZARDS?
- The whole thing was basically dirty and crumbly and janky as shit. Janky-ass.
It took a year and a half to figure out the plan for tackling this giant uneven-weed-farm-beer-hating-trip-and-fall-janky-ass-hazard. But we finally did it.
And today is the day. The day that two giant Tongan men capable of obliterating the old patio and bringing order to chaos through concrete and mortar, marrying new stones with old, walked into our backyard and our hearts.
At the end of day one, the entire upper tier of patio and the boulder retaining wall is demoed. Our dog is in heaven, smelling everything upturned back there (he is also dirty as hell). Our spirits are light, imagining the rest of the stones’ demise tomorrow. I am drinking a beer from the safety of the upstairs deck, where I cannot trip and fall, imagining looking out on a blank canvas for new concrete (where I also cannot trip and fall) by this time tomorrow…
We just keep conquering that to-do list. See the whole story of the taming of 3675 in pictures here.