So, I’m wading into uncharted waters here, as far as my stress levels are concerned. Thank god I’ve got that second honeymoon coming up.
People keep asking me how I’m doing. How I’m adjusting, handling it all, yada yada. So far my response is just, “Ohhh… I’m doing!”
In truth, closing in on two weeks in, I now see that I’ve started relying on some old coping mechanisms developed in more stressful times, way back when.
For one, I’ve really been enjoying exercising on the rowing machine SuperHubs bought me for my birthday this year. So much so that I got to buy new jeans a whole size smaller so… Yay! Stress is good for something.
And I know I’m not skinnier just because I’ve been too busy to eat or anything like that, because the stress is making me drink beer and eat (coconut milk) ice cream like it’s going out of style. Except it’ll never go out of style. BECAUSE IT’S BEER AND ICE CREAM (even if made from coconut milk; seriously – try it).
But I really came to realize how much reverting to old ways of coping I’ve been doing just this morning.
After waking up at 4:45 AM for the eighth consecutive work day, I just couldn’t bear to walk out the front door early for work again, thinking about the piles of crap, and the emails, and the people with their problems, and the messes to be cleaned up, and the gah gah gah gah.
So I sat down at my piano instead, and played for 20 minutes before I left the house.
And then I realized – huh. I’ve been playing a lot more lately. And now I know why.
When I’m playing, I can’t THINK about anything. All I can do is make music.
And interestingly enough, the music I’ve been playing sounds – and looks – a lot like the commotion I’m trying to stop inside my brain.
One of these days, I’m gonna walk up to my piano, sit down, and play this one again. Then you’ll know things have taken a turn for the better.