In this year of ongoing, neverending, continuing self-realizations, today I had yet another one.
I realized that I have only two views of the world, and everything in it:
I see everything – absolutely everything – through one of these two lenses. There is no in-between.
Things are either fixed, or they are broken.
The house is either fixed, or it is broken.
Relationships are either fixed, or broken.
The world is either fixed, or broken.
And things that are broken, must be fixed (which is probably why I’m constantly freaked out about the state of the world and living in the “end days”; I CANNOT FIX IT).
I’m like a Doozer, scrambling around rebuilding Fraggle Rock as the Fraggles gobble it down into chaos.
This world view EXHAUSTING. I have to stop it.
But unfortunately, I really have to fix husband first:
And then… I HAVE TO STOP.
I have to STOP FIXING. And learn how to live in “broken”. For real this time, before I’m the one who breaks.