Broken

In this year of ongoing, neverending, continuing self-realizations, today I had yet another one.

I realized that I have only two views of the world, and everything in it:

  1. Fixed
  2. Broken

I see everything – absolutely everything – through one of these two lenses. There is no in-between.

Things are either fixed, or they are broken.

The house is either fixed, or it is broken.

Relationships are either fixed, or broken.

The world is either fixed, or broken.

And things that are broken, must be fixed (which is probably why I’m constantly freaked out about the state of the world and living in the “end days”; I CANNOT FIX IT).

I’m like a Doozer, scrambling around rebuilding Fraggle Rock as the Fraggles gobble it down into chaos.

This world view EXHAUSTING. I have to stop it.

But unfortunately, I really have to fix husband first:

Broken.

Broken.

And house:

Broken.

Broken.

And then… I HAVE TO STOP.

I have to STOP FIXING. And learn how to live in “broken”. For real this time, before I’m the one who breaks.

 

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7 thoughts on “Broken

  1. Margaret Wisniewski says:

    You have learned the secret to a happy life, learning to live with the broken-ness that exists in the world. It is difficult, but your rare and remarkable insight will save your sanity and your soul. The only thing you really have control over is yourself and your attitude. You have always been very “black and white” (like your dad), and that is a refreshing quality (especially from an ethical standpoint), but, as you have discovered, there is no way to repair the “black” in the world. It’s presence helps us to appreciate the “white” and learn to live with the dichotomy. So, while you wait for the water in your house to drain away and for Trent’s broken arm to heal, be patient and understanding and rest in the assurance that “this, too, shall pass”. Besides, everything becomes stronger in the broken places. Love you both!

  2. peter says:

    dear LISA,
    IT IS FULLY UNDERSTANDABLE THAT YOU ARE VERY UPSET,HOW EVER LOOK AT IT THIS WAY,BROKEN BONES WILL HEAL ,ATTITUDES WILL CHANGE , WATER WILL DISBURSE, LIVES WILL SUCCEED ,THANKS THE GOOD LORD WHO YOU ARE , WHAT YOU HAVE , WERE YOU ARE ,WHO YOUR FRIENDS ARE AND SO ON AND ON ,
    LOOK AT IT THIS WAY
    DO YOU HAVE A ROOF OVER YOUR HEAD? DO YOU HAVE FOOD IN THE HOUSE?DO YOU HAVE A JOB ? DO YOU HAVE CLOTHES TO WEAR ?DO YOU BELIEVE IN YOURSELF 😕 YOU CANNOT IMAGEN HOW MANY PEOPLE ON THE FACE IN THE WORLD WOULD LOVE TO CHANGE WITH YOU ,
    SO CHEER OP AND LOOK AT THIS WAY
    THERE IS A SMALL AMOUT OF BLACK ON ONE SIDE , AND THEN THERE IS A SMALL AMOUNT OF WHITE ON THE OTHER SIDE,AND IN BETWEEN
    IS A W H OL E LOT OF G R E Y SOME DARK ,SOME LIGHT , FIND THE IN BETWEEN.
    ALL THE BEST TO YOU AND TREND
    PETER

  3. […] mother – certain I must be suicidal after suffering a “broken” husband”, “broken” car, two “broken” houses, and a “broken” washer/dryer […]

  4. […] arm is broken here and we don’t know it yet. A glass of wine is obviously […]

  5. […] got his cast off a few days ago; with it went a whole lot of dead skin, but other than that, his arm is healing […]

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