This weekend, Marlene and I nicknamed our new favorite swimming hole in the Sierra Nevada the “Zen Garden”.
It really is a glassy, zen paradise; float on it for a few moments, and you can’t help but transcend into a type of nirvana. It’s been positively therapeutic for me, surfing its smooth surface these last few trips to the mountains.
The more time I spend in nature (and I spend a lot these days), the more I crave: the harder it is for me to adjust to not being in nature. The more my eyes are open when I return to the city: the more clarity I experience.
Yesterday, as I lay in silence in the sand with Sam and watched Marlene and our friend Miguel turn in silent, overlapping circles in their tubes – on a surface so still you couldn’t tell where water ended and sky began, no humans in sight – I thought about lots of stuff.
My family. My home. My job. My “next phase of life.”
But mostly, I thought about how good these times are, in nature, without distractions from work. From technology. From social media. From news. From worry.
And about how I have to make even more time for them. I have to. There’s no other way I can keep going in life if I don’t.
And, as a consequence, how I think the time for this blog might be coming to an end.
When I began writing this record five years ago, I had just left social media. In the wake of my scary exit from my online social community, I had a strong desire to continue to create a “document” of Trent’s and my life together.
And boy, have I done that.
But now, I just – don’t want to document so much any more.
I want to just live.
I think the era of the blog may be over.
Or, it might be time for something different (because, let’s face it; the historian / archivist in me is always going to be alive, to some degree…)…
I’m not sure what that might be, but I know that I am sitting in front of a screen right now as I type this. I am not floating; I am not zen. And that’s the problem.
And so, some sort of countdown begins…
How much more will I have to say?