Category Archives: Meditations

Tree v. 2017

This is our 2017 Christmas tree.

Oh, Christmas tree…

It fell over while we were decorating it: the first time that’s ever happened to us. Smashed bulbs and spilled water. Scared dog cowering in the corner. It almost fell over a second time, too, but by then we had grown wiser to its ways and managed to catch it.

It was a fitting end to our Thanksgiving weekend: two sick-as-hell people struggling to decorate their house for Christmas, to salvage some holiday cheer after their family celebration in the mountains was ruined by the flu, the tree absolutely refusing to cooperate. Both of us still up at 9:00 PM, delirious, insisting we could do it; we could have some happy holidays in 2017. We could end a terrible year on a high note. There were still things to look forward to…

And there are. I guess. Siiiggghhh.

The tree is up. The halls are decked. Christmas will come. We’ve both already had the flu this season, so maybe we won’t get it again, right? (??? Knock on wood…).

This too shall pass.

So, here we go, full steam ahead into Christmas 2017, and then into a new year which, we hope, has good things in store not just for us, but for the whole world.

We both kinda feel like flopping over at this point, but we’re holding each other up like invisible fishing wire behind the scenes. We can do this. 

The world can do this. 

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>> 40

2018 is going to be a great year.

And I’m not just saying that because THIS year has been such an enormous loser, there’s absolutely NO WAY I CAN’T feel warm and fuzzy about a new one.

I’m saying it because 2018 is the year that ALL the people I love are going to turn 40.

Well, not all of them – a few already have…

Anna turned 40 in June 2017, and you better believe I was there for it.

Continue reading

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Work

(and real ones)

It’s been a long, long, looong year.

It’s been so long, in fact, that somewhere along the way I lost my love of writing. I lost my free time to cheer on my favorite sports teams with colorful shittalk. I lost my passion for waking up early to download political chatter before heading off to work. I feel like I lost some of my personality, honestly.

(But I didn’t, of course, lose my passion for drinking beer; if anything I just drank MORE of it, to lament the loss of all the above…)

The year is nearing it’s final chapter now, and I’m looking for a scapegoat for all this loss. Continue reading

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Longing

So, I finally had a pang of longing for blogging.

And here I am, to document it, on the blog.

I had two verifiable pangs of longing, really – and neither of them were caused by what I thought would push me to pangs.

I had expected I wouldn’t be able to resist my compulsive urge to hit four blog posts per month. I haven’t missed that mark since I started this little diary, over five years ago now. I just figured eventually I would look at the calendar and say, “Oh, f$#% – what have I been doing all month? I need to reflect, dammit! QUICK! Vomit something onto the internet!”

But nope – I’ve been way too busy to even think about that. No pangs over only posting twice – over that measly little next to August in my widget.

The first actual yearn to return to the blog came two weekends ago, when Trent’s buddy and former bandmate, Justin, got married. I realized I had documented every one of my friends’ weddings since this blog began.

Where would the stories of their weddings go, if there was no blog?  Continue reading

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Screening

I was almost feeling inspired enough today to write a blog post.

I woke up this morning almost feeling like I had the energy. Like I had enough mental capital to devote to metacognition… Like I had the ability to just think, and not work. 

But then, I worked a 15-hour day, and…

Nope.

Mental capital all spent.

There’s nothing meaningful to say after all.

Nothing that justifies more screen time. 

There was a high point to my day, though; it happened on a different type of screen.

I’ve been running a screenprinting workshop at the artist studio I manage at my job (yes, I manage a reverse residency for my company’s employees in a working artists’ community in San Francisco, in an effort to underwrite the other artists’ abilities to lease their spaces below market rate; it’s just one of my little “side projects”). Today was our second group screenprinting day at the studio. And for the few hours I was off that kind of screen and onto the other kind…

I felt no stress.

The fact that I’m taking the time to express that here is in no way a point for blogging. It’s just a realization I had today:

Maybe I need to start screenprinting my thoughts, instead of typing them?

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