Tag Archives: home depot

The Weekend in Which We Broke the House, and the House Broke Itself

Homeownership TOTALLY SUCKED THE BIG ONE this weekend.

We were all prepared to be productive and tackle multiple monstrous projects like reseeding half the lawn and restaining the deck for Summer #2, but the house was a TOTAL ASSHOLE to us. It did not want us to get these things done. It did not want us to be happy homeowners. It wanted us to be sad, bewildered, frustrated homeowners. It wanted to hurt us. It made us hurt it.

IT DID. Continue reading

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Stroke of Genius

Do you know what this is?

Landscape sketch.


A stroke of pure landscaping genius, I tell you. Come on in Home Depot in a fit of desperation, crystallized on the patio of Taqueria El Torero in East Oakland, over Dos Equis and the best veggie refried beans under the sun.

The research is done now, the plotting complete. The plan goes into action this Saturday.

Stay tuned…

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So, my 34th birthday came and went this weekend and it was the most eventful yet uneventful birthday I’ve ever had.

It’s been a while since I really cared about my birthday (I mean, once you turn 30, what’s the point? You’re just 30-something every year until you’re 40: woo hoo). But this year I was honestly too busy to even manage to care.

Still, we had a few celebratory moments amidst all the weekend work. Continue reading

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Goddamn, there are a lot of weeds in our backyard.

We spent our first full working weekend in the house developing a plan of attack for combating the f#@%ers and making a very small amount of progress in the battle of Man vs. Nature. We made four — count ’em: FOUR — trips to Home Depot and spent several hundred dollars (courtesy of an e-gift cert from Mike in London — BIG BIG thanks!) on tools to conquer what has become the bane of our existence.

In the same amount of time, Bryce (Trent’s contractor-stepfather) pretty much COMPLETELY re-wired the entire house and undid a full century’s worth of bad decisionmaking by previous owners. Oh, and he also made some plumbing repairs. And patched half our fence. And the painters mud/taped and primed practically the entire house.

What does this tell us?

Trent and Lisa are bringin’ the team down. We need to bust some serious ass next weekend or we’re never gonna win this battle. Continue reading

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