Tag Archives: love

1 + 1 = 7

Since I no longer have time to blog very frequently (yep, it happened, but it’s not dead yet!), it’s kind of amusing to see the large shifts in topic and mood between my posts now.

The last blog I wrote was about my long and violent saga exterminating rat(s) in our basement (attic?). Since then, I just haven’t felt moved enough to start typing again. I mean, what in my life these days can compete with the drama of outsmarting vermin on my own turf?

Until today…

Because earlier this week it was my seven year wedding anniversaryOur seven year wedding anniversary:

❤ !!!

Yes, my darling – I feel at least as passionately about you as I feel about RATS.

JUST KIDDING!

Anyone who’s been around me for a hot second lately knows that I’m more in love with my husband than ever. Bordering on co-dependent (I admit it). This “childfree” decision thing seems to have mind-melded us; cemented us even closer than I thought possible…

While it’s true that some of my passion for past loves (like writing) has waned, I’ve leaned harder into my marriage. And I’m not sorry about that at all.

And interestingly enough, also this week I met an inspiring woman in person whom I’ve been corresponding with for a while now; I’ve begun to look up to her and the work she does and have even started to reimagine my own future as a result. She suggested I take a “thinking talents” assessment to hone in on where my natural abilities and passions lie. So I did:

My thinking talents.

Enchanted by how spot on this felt, I asked my dear husband to do the same…

Trent’s thinking talents.

And I just had to smile at what a perfect yin and yang emerged in these two skillsets; so much harmony, but also so much difference. A beautiful balance.

Our love definitely lies in things like our humor and our ability to feel deeply for others. But we are so different as well, in how we drive each other forward (me for Trent) and buoy each other up (Trent for me) when we’ve taken too much on and need to be reminded of the here and now. I see so clearly how my analytical mind supports Trent’s enlessly innovative mind (the source of his creativity, I suppose).

The science of love. 1 + 1 = 7 years.

Plus 50 more = lovers at 90!

Maybe?

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That’s Life

As I’ve arrived in middle age, I’ve come to the realization that I’m no longer much of a public speaker.

Maybe it’s because I’m in the spotlight so much in my professional life, I just don’t want to feel that way in my personal life. I just want to relax, be myself, “turn off” – and not have to perform.

Unfortunately, middle age also seems to be the time of a familial changing of the guard; a time when life seems to be thrusting me into a “performance role” more than ever. As “big life things” happen, I feel expectant eyes on me, but that old performer within – a younger, much different woman – just doesn’t want to step into the spotlight.   Continue reading

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End of an Era

My grandfather has passed away.

RIP Sam, 1929 – 2018.

It doesn’t even seem real. I don’t think I ever stopped and thought about the day when Sam Spade wouldn’t be on this earth: what the weather would be like, where I would be living, how I would be wearing my hair, what I would have eaten for breakfast (answer: nothing – I got the news at 6:00 AM and didn’t eat for the rest of the day)…

And yet, it happened. The day is here: there is no more Sam Spade on Planet Earth. He has gone to be with his “beautiful bride”, his “Lucy in the Sky”, as we’ve affectionately referred to her since her passing, two years ago now.  Continue reading

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39 in Practice

Last week (and in most recent weeks, really), I spent a lot of time ruminating on what it means to now be 39 years old.

This past weekend – the end of Week 1 of 39 – I was in Detroit with my family. I tried to keep my father’s words of wisdom, about how “getting old is the plan”, present as I went to Anna’s 40th birthday party, and as my mom brought lots of friends and family around all weekend to keep my spirits high. She threw me yet another little belated birthday party, we had a little family get-together for an early Father’s Day, yada yada…

And it felt good, honestly. Especially as I spent precious time with this guy:

Grandpa with his father’s day “Sam”mich.

He is certainly fulfilling “the plan.”  Continue reading

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39

I turned 39 on June 2nd. It was a big deal for me.

My family, at the end of my 39th birthday weekend.

I’ve long dreaded turning 39. I think I was telling myself I was dreading turning 40, but that was a lie. I’m not afraid of 40 – I’m excited for it, actually. It’s a badge I’m anxious to earn. But I’ve been scared shitless of 39.

My father died when he was 39, you see. He did not have what most people would consider a “good death”. He was a young man with a wife and two small children – barely in his thirties – when he was given a devastating diagnosis. He and his mother were both diagnosed at nearly the exact same time, with the exact same cancer; they were each given just months to live. In hindsight, it’s very clear that both of their deaths could have been easily avoided by not subjecting them to radioactive, carcinogenic procedures to treat their (hereditary) thyroid conditions. But in the early 80s oncology was a fledgling field, ya know…

Continue reading

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